An Unusual Conversation
by parker08
Summary: Hermione is upset about Ron's new relationship. She ends up talking to a somewhat unlikely Professor about it, Snape.


Hermione was sick of seeing Ron sticking his tongue down Lavender's throat. She was filled with a mixture of emotions over the situation. She was hurt, jealous and most of all confused by what she was feeling. She'd known she'd liked Ron for a long time now, but she had never pictured him with someone else. Being so happy. Spending all his time with her. Sometimes no longer joining herself or Harry at all during the day.

Largely, Hermione also got the impression Lavender didn't like her. She tended to keep Ron away from her whenever possible. Hermione wondered how Ron felt about this. Did he know that he was hurting her? No, Ron would never do that deliberately. They were friends, they had been best friends for almost six years.

Hermione was feeling particularly upset after what had felt like a particularly long game of tonsil tennis tonight in the Great Hall. She sat on the steps at the bottom of a quiet corridor, face buried in her hands crying. She was so absorbed in her own thoughts she didn't notice the footsteps behind her.

"Miss Granger, what are you doing out of bed at this hour?"

Snape's voice cut through her raw emotions like a knife.

"I'm sorry professor, I was just-" Hermione went to get up but then noticed Snape was moving to sit down next to her.

Snape really didn't want to get involved with this, at best he was ambivalent towards Hermione. But she was in tears and he had that darn duty of care.

"What's wrong, Miss Granger?" he said lazily.

"I'm fine, I just need to head to bed."

"Then why are you crying?" he flicked his eyes over her tear stained face.

Hermione gave way. She had been determined she didn't want to say anything to him, but right now she was too fragile to argue.

"Have you ever been in love, Professor?" She saw a flicker of something cross his face and then it was gone.

He sat back a little surveying the scene afore him. "Is this about Weasley?"

Hermione was startled. She stared at him for a long time, hardly daring to speak.

"H-how do you know?" she stammered.

"I've known since first year," he said smoothly.

Hermione backed up, confused by his boldness on the situation. How did he know any of this? From what she had seen over the past six years of his teaching, Snape had remained fairly emotionless.

"I didn't even know then," she said firmly.

"Hmm," he surveyed her carefully, seemingly aware that this was an extremely delicate topic. "Maybe you didn't realise."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione had always been the smartest in her year group. Surely she couldn't have overlooked something like this?

"You've always behaved differently around him," he murmured. "Even different to how you treat Potter."

"Do you think?" Hermione was curious of an outsider's perspective. Up until she had recently discussed it with Harry, she had thought that it was only her who realized her love for Ron. "Ron and I, we've always fought a lot."

"We always hurt the ones we love," Snape said calmly.

Hermione was so flabbergasted. She was having an ordinary conversation with the man who was generally considered the most disliked teacher in Hogwarts. He tended to sneer at her, accuse her of being a know it all and wherever possible, ignore her in his lessons.

She felt like she had bared too much to him tonight. She felt this triggering her original question again.

"Have you ever loved anyone?"

He seemed like an almost emotionless being, like he was above love.

She could see his eyes were troubled as he considered her question. Eventually he slowly answered her.

"Yes."

She nodded. She was unsure whether to go further with this for fear of getting herself into trouble.

"Was it a woman?" Hermione felt compelled to ask. She just couldn't picture Snape with either another man or a woman.

"Yes," he let out a deep sigh.

"And did she love you back?"

She saw the raw emotion colour his face. He glanced at a spot on the floor near his feet and quietly told her no.

"Were you two just friends then too?" She knew she was asking too many questions, but curiosity here was really getting the better of her.

"Friends? We weren't even that by the end," Snape looked like he was about to stand up and walk away so Hermione instinctively placed her hand on his arm.

He stared at it, like she had burned him, but didn't pull away.

"I'm sorry, professor, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset," he said calmly, although his face said otherwise.

"You know, I'm scared me and Ron won't be friends again," she looked at him anxiously, waiting for a response.

He met her eyes. "You will be. He's a great deal fonder of you than you think."

Normally she would have laughed at a statement like this. But Snape seemed extremely perceptive. He had figured out that she liked Ron without having to tell him anything.

"It's just so upsetting seeing him with Lavender," she finally responded.

"While I agree it's disturbing, he's a teenage boy and that's his prerogative. He won't be forever."

"Well, he doesn't want to go out with me," she said wistfully.

"But you've never asked him?" Snape looked deep in her eyes as a way of answering his own question. "Therefore, you don't know."

She couldn't dispute his logic. She had never asked Ron out before, therefore she had no evidence that he didn't like her. Maybe he was just as scared as she was.

"Can I ask," she looked awkwardly up at him. "Why did you fall out with the girl you loved?"

"We drifted apart when we were at school," he said looking at the floor. "And I did something awful."

Hermione's head was racing, what on earth had Snape done? Made some sort of awful move on her? She was sure she wanted to know, but he'd listened about Ron, so she felt she should at least ask.

"Which was?"

"You're not going to like this," he muttered. "I called her a Mudblood."

Hermione processed the piece of information. She could remember Malfoy using this term on her in second year and it had really hurt. She wanted to be angry with Snape, but she had a feeling that there was something more to it than him simply spitting this term at the girl he loved.

"Why?"

"I wasn't popular at school," Snape told the floor. This piece of information didn't surprise Hermione. After all, he wasn't popular now, there was no reason why he would have been any more liked at school. "I was bullied by a group of four boys. She was kind hearted, she tried to help. And pride went afore my fall."

"I know that term hurts," she conceded.

"I know that too. And I did apologise, I tried to make it right," his voice cracking. "But it was too late."

"I don't know what it's like to be bullied though, so I can't really make any judgement." And she really didn't want to. Snape clearly liked this girl and in the six years since she'd known him, she'd never heard him throw the term around.

"It was wrong," he nodded. He stood up. "Anyway, I need to go to bed. You should talk to Weasley."

"Professor," she looked up at him. "Do you still love her now?"

"Yes," he said stiffly.

"Then you should talk to her too," she offered.

"I can't."

You really should, you're a talented-"

"She's dead." She could see that just saying the words hurt him. She wanted to take his hand but she wasn't sure if that was too much physical contact, how he would take it.

"I'm so sorry, Sir." She genuinely meant it. Her heart ached a little bit for him. No wonder he was so bitter, so cold, so callous towards everyone in his path. The one person he loved had slipped out of his reach forever.

"It was long time ago, fifteen years."

"Does it still hurt?" she said quietly.

"Everyday. She lives on in her son though."

Hermione's brain was suddenly calculating very hard. Something terrible was starting to dawn on her. Snape had gone to school with Harry's parents, Harry himself had mentioned that at one point. Harry's mother also died fifteen years ago. And Harry had his mother's eyes. But surely not, Snape treated Harry with utter loathing? _Wouldn't that make sense though?_ said a small voice. _He's the product of a man who's not Snape._ She looked at him awkwardly.

"Professor, thank you for talking to me tonight," she met his eyes as she stood up.

He nodded. "Please don't discuss what I've told you tonight with anyone."

"Of course I won't, sir," she said earnestly.

He met her eyes. "Talk to Weasley. I mean it. Because otherwise you might regret it for the rest of your life."

Her heart broke a little for him. She pushed herself towards him and embraced the older man. He awkwardly patted her on the back with one hand. She pulled away from him.

"Good night, professor."

"Good night, Hermione," he gave her a tight lipped smile and turned to walk away.

She walked back to the dormitory at a fairly rapid pace. _Please don't say he loves Lily Potter, _she thought. _Please not Harry Potter's mother. _

**I hope you all enjoyed this! Please leave a review! **


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